


Beauty of Life's Mystery

by pepperspray325



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Dragon Age Spoilers, Dragon Age: Inquisition Spoilers, F/F, F/M, Modern Girl in Thedas, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-04-23 07:51:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19146703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pepperspray325/pseuds/pepperspray325
Summary: Jo was finding only dead ends in her life. Starting to find herself in a life that was less than lackluster.With a hearty mix of small interactions between characters and impactful consequences. This modern original character finding herself in Thedas is not held by the restraints of a linear game and is able to break out of the mold. With characters reacting in ways she hadn't expected, finding things that are not right, and finding the balance of what she should and shouldn't say.Will she make the end better? Will she discover the dark spirit that haunts her in the fade? Will she finally find the happiness that she always wanted?Warning for: Vulgar in many senses, death, dark topics, mental disorders,





	Beauty of Life's Mystery

Jo was standing in the grocery store of her small town. Long ago cut bangs hung in front of her eyes as she looked between the two bottles of alcohol she had picked up. She knew she shouldn’t but it was a Saturday night and she didn’t really mind if she was going to end up sleeping for over 12 hours.

She let out a sigh, remembering that she needs to go to one of her cousin's graduation parties the next day and needed to not be wearing 4 pairs of sunglasses. With a quiet defeat, she puts the bottles back on the metal shelves and walks over to the other aisle and instead grabs a pack of popsicles. She smiles a bit and lightly puts it on top of the other groceries she was grabbing for the upcoming week when she hears her name called from a few feet away.

“Jo! How great to see you.” overly pink lipstick sticking to her teeth making Jo cringe. It was her aunt Theresa.

“Aunty! I thought I would run into you tomorrow at the party.” The words easily found their way out of her mouth and to her aunt's ears. She didn’t mention how there was not a single cell in her body that was surprised to see someone she knew in the place even though it was after 9 pm.

“Oh dear, I was just running in to grab some extra stuff for the party tomorrow. I forgot to grab some extra drinks.” Her smile was genuine and it made Jo’s heart twinge at the fact she really didn’t want to be talking to her right now. It also made her glad that she put the alcohol away. She had only recently turned 21 and didn’t want anyone to think her next goal in life was to become the towns rumored alcoholic, let alone let her gossipy aunt start it.

“Ah well I was just heading ho-”

“Speaking of which hon, how has your mom been holding up?” Theresa cut her off. A weight heavier than she was already carrying fell upon Jo’s shoulders. Very quickly without even thinking she replied:

“If we are being quite honest, Theresa, that is none of your goddamn business.” Before she could hear a response Jo turned her cart around and made her way over back to the alcohol aisle. Without much regard for what she was grabbing she grabbed one that had a nice looking bottle that wasn’t too much, paid and was out the door.

-

Sat on the floor next to her couch she clutched the bottle in her hands. She had almost made it out the door when her stupid aunt showed up. She had been doing fine. She had put the bottle back. That's a sign she was getting better right? But looking down at the bottle she knew that she was trying to make herself feel better, with her words, but also with the bottle. The only real noise she heard was the fridge, the breeze coming through her window, and her nails lightly tapping on the glass. Or was it plastic? She didn’t know. She laughed and tried to move the bangs from her eyes. She gave out a light sigh and shook her head.

 _Just because I bought the bottle doesn’t mean I have to drink it._ Jo thought and stood up whipping off her pants despite the lack of dust or dirt on them and put the bottle on the top of the cabinets. She rocks on her feet for a beat and decides to turn on her computer. The thing was beat up from her college days and the ‘K’ key seems to always stick. But it did its job happily with a loud woosh from the fans. She scrolled until a playlist came on and she jumped in place a few times. Keep moving. Quickly with the sweet sweet sound of _“Backstreets back ALRIGHT”_ caused her to giggle softly and start to sweep her studio apartment.

There wasn’t much to see. A few paintings she made back in high school as well as some of the posters of bands and fan art that friends grabbed from different cons that they went to. Her small futon doubling as her bed was a nice welcome to see after working all day. She had been wiping down the counter when she heard a knock at the door. Afraid that it was her landlord she thought about maybe not answering. There was a bit of silence before it was interrupted.

“Bitch don't you dare not answer. I come all the way from down the street and this is how you treat me?” Perking up at the familiar voice Jo dropped her rags and ran to open the door. A tallish man stood in the doorway with wavy blond hair and scruff on his jaw.

“My boi, you have arrived. But why?” Jo tilted her head to the side and took a step back as a way of letting him in. He knew the place well and found his spot in the middle of the couch cross-legged with ease.

“Do I need a reason to visit my friend?” Brison started to dig through his pocket and pulled out a lighter. Jo quick snatched it out of his hands.

“You know my rules,” she shoved the lighter in her pocket “no smoking in my apartment. I hardly just got the scent out from the last time you were here.” Brison winced.

“Fair point”

“Yeah, I know.” Jo threw back over her shoulder as she made her way back to the kitchen. She put the cleaning supplies away as she was listening to the now soft sound of music and her friend in the other room telling her about how her mother had gotten ahold of him (surprising) despite her hating him (he was surprised she called him too) and asked him to come and check on her. She spun to look over at her visitor and he gave a small smile.

“You know she worries about you.” He said simply. He wasn’t trying to convince her, nor to push another narrative. Jo nodded slowly and reached back up to the alcohol she had put up on top of the cabinets. _That didn’t stay long_. She thought to herself. Brison let out a WOOP and with his long strides made it to the kitchen before she even set it down.

“I was wondering when you were gonna bring that down. Buy it for me?” He placed his cheek on the side of her head and made kissy noises. She stepped on his foot and put her hand under his jaw and lifted. He made a quick choking noise in surprise but grabbed the bottle from her hand and did an almost complete takedown.

“You really should come back to class. You’re getting rusty.” She wholeheartedly laughed.

“Ha! I’m not rusty. You are just a higher rank.” Her laugh faded as she remembered that she hadn’t gone to karate in almost two years. He patted her on the shoulder and she looked up and grabbed the bottle back from him. “And no, this is mine. I’m just deciding to share it with you.” She went to grab cups when he made a frustrated noise.

“You know you can’t drink.” He said firmly if not slightly exasperated. “You are on medication again.” She scoffed and started pouring two glasses out for both of them.

“Come on we are both celebrating. I haven’t seen you in a while.” She pulled two popsicles out from the freezer and dropped one into each glass then handed one to him. He looked down at it and then looked back up at her.

“If you are drinking I’m staying over so I can make sure no weird shit happens.” She nodded. “And I just want you to know that this would make your mom sad.”

“Jesus fuck Brison you two don’t even like each other can you get off my dick?” She replied exasperated.

“Not if you end up being a dead dick.”

“That's so stupid”

“You’re so stupid”

“Ignorant ass weasel.”

“The fact you don't know the right way to use ignorant just shows you are the ignorant one.” They were both grinning at each other when he finally clinked his glass to hers. “Cheers”

“Cheers, my dude” She took a bite out of her alcohol-soaked popsicle and wished she had actually looked at what bottle she grabbed.

“This is pretty ass, why did you buy this?” Brison pointed at his drink with his popsicle. Jo shrugged and proceeded to laugh hysterically when he crossed his eyes and pretended to deep throat the frozen treat. “Delicious”

-

She didn’t know how long she had been laying on the couch, but she had her head on Brison’s shoulder and her eyes were heavy.

“Hey..” he nudged her lightly with his pointy-as-all-hell elbow. “You doing okay?” He was looking down at her with a soft look in his eye but she kept looking straight at the wall.

“I’m okay, I’m just really tired.” Her voice came out just above a whisper. He just breathed for a minute before he put an arm around her shoulder and pulled her to his chest. They stayed quiet and she didn’t mind it. The air blowing in from outside starting to give her goosebumps, she welcomed the warmth. Even if it was from him.

“You need to tell me if something is going wrong okay? I know I’m not the best when it comes to taking care of people-”

“No, you are.” She cut him off. “What you aren’t is reliable. That's why we broke up, remember?” Nothing in her voice or demeanor changed, to her this was simply stating a fact.

He, on the other hand, froze up. “Don’t be like that. That was 5 years ago. I’m different. You should know that.”

“Is that why you are still in this shit hole of a town?”

“I don’t know, you are still here aren’t you?” He replied quickly with emotion thick in his voice. Jo instantly raised her head off of him and started to stand up, her voice also raising.

“You know that wasn’t my choice.” He quickly realized his mistake and stood up quicker than her to lightly press down on her shoulders. She pushed them off.

“Listen, I’m sorry I said that, it came out the wrong way. I wasn’t thinkin-”

“Damn right you weren’t. You never are. You piss me off so much. You always have to do shit that hurts me just because it will make you feel better for a short period of time. And then you are just soooo sorry and apologize and I don’t forgive you but we are just so used to each other and you never change.” She was breathing heavily and clutching at her head. None of what she said really affected Brison. They both knew they didn’t work well together. They always brought out the worst in each other. She has said all of this before. She looked up to him and saw his eyes slightly bigger behind the lenses of his glasses. They had no tears in them. But you could see the depth of his feelings when he looked at her. She knew that hers probably looked the same. It was reaching a point that she didn’t know if it was the alcohol or her stress that was generating a large headache. She didn’t know which part was worse. The heaviness that was finally becoming too much, or the pounding in her head. He took a step towards her and she wobbled, he moved slower.

“Jo you drank too much..” She closed her eyes and went to shake her head but the pounding got too bad. She clutched the sides of her head and covered her ears. She suddenly felt his hands lightly on her shoulders. “You don’t see me as a great guy, I get it. But I’m also one of the few people that you couldn’t push away the past two years.” He feeling her shake, slowly brought her into his chest and lightly held a hand to the back of her head. “I love you too much. I won't watch you hurt yourself. Just like you tried to stop me when I spiraled, you and I both know you didn’t have to do that, but you did.” He lightly rested his lips on top of her head. “I still love you, Joey. I haven’t stopped.” She could feel herself getting weaker as the seconds ticked by. She knew he still loved her. And she loved him too. Her heart would ache for him on the nights she was lonely and would wish sometimes that the ones she was with, she would feel as close to her heart as he did. She pulled away slowly to look at a spot on his chest.

“I care for you as well. It’s why I haven’t told you to completely fuck off yet.” He chuckled at that. “But you know we are bad. It doesn’t matter how much I love you.” She finally looked him in the eyes again. “That can’t be enough.”

His lips had formed a hard line but he didn’t make a motion to leave. “Why can’t it be enough? We both know how it feels to be around each other.” He guided one of her hands to his chest. “Why is love not enough for you?”

Every syllable sounded like an explosion going off in her head. It hurt to keep her eyes open.

“Jo.. Jo..Joey?... Hey man, look at me what’s happening?” His voice quickly started to rise in both intensity and franticness. She slowly opened her eyes and met her hazel eyes to his through her tears. She felt herself slipping out of his arms limp.

“I just want to be fucking happy again.”

-

Looking back on it, it didn’t make much sense. _But, I guess it did?_ She thought to herself.

She watched in the reflection of his fearful eyes as she slumped down and fell to the floor. He had screamed out her name and she felt a much colder breeze than she expected to brush past her cheek as she fell. She was unconsciously waiting to feel her head hit the linoleum floor put instead she landed on her arm. She knew that he was taping her face and moving her. Trying to make her be responsive. When she wasn’t he lifted her and put her on the futon. He moved a part of the blanket under her head so there was a slight pillow. She saw out of her peripheral vision him running to the other side of the room and calling 911. Taking one of her towels and running it over cold water, she assumed was for her forehead as he moved.

She felt slightly at peace, for the first time in what felt like years. The weight that used to feel like stress and depression was lifted from her body. Instead, it was like a weighted blanket, offering comfort in place of a world that could no longer do so.

 _Am I dying?_ She thought, slowly moving her eyes over to Brison she felt her heart twinge. This is going to hurt him, she didn’t want to hurt him. Despite how many times he hurt her. She didn’t want to add to it. These past few months they had started to slightly start over. They re-learned to be friends. But there was too much bad history. She knew that she couldn’t move forward together, not the way that he wanted to.

Her eyes slid back to a more comfortable spot and she stared at the wall. All of the decorations. They littered the wall in a way that provided a sort of life flashing before your eyes type of deal. She felt a small smile inside of her but it didn't reach her lips. The photos of her friends from college, that she left too soon. The paintings that had won awards in small galleries. The posters, bands that she liked, that her father liked, that her friends bought for her. All of them in a way hurt. A deep searing wound that she would pour lemon juice in for hours every night. All of them a remembrance of a life that had fallen from her, had been taken from her, that she chose to walk away from. All provided a sense of regret.

Except for one. Her eyes slowly rested upon a poster of the games she used to obsess over in high school. Back when things were hard but still easier than now. She saw the hand reaching into the sky, towards the demons coming out of a rift shaped like a dragon. She used to find solace in them, a way to remove herself from the life she never asked for, to live in one she would dream of.

Brison, he had always told her of his love for lucid dreaming. She could never do so. She never had control in any of her dreams. They were always vivid, and like the people in her dreams were people teaching her a lesson rather than her mind having made all of them herself. She wished for them now, the spirits and for the companions and world, she had grown to love so deeply. She wished for the familiar escape the world of Thedas had provided her, that she had forgotten in the tragedies that soon filled her life afterward. She wished for the companionship and love that she felt towards every character. She wanted to meet them, and thank them. For what they had given her in her darkest time.

“Thank you.” She said quietly. Brison ran over to her and put the towel to her head gently.

“Joey, please, you can’t leave. Not like this.” He searched her emptying eyes. “Please, I swear to god I’ll change. I shouldn’t have let you drink that. I don’t even know what's happening.” He started to hyperventilate but she finally got enough energy and lightly touched the side of his face. He looked down at her with tears in his eyes.

“Just build a better life, for the both of us, for you this time.” she turned her head slowly and kissed the side of his hand. The sounds of sirens started to come in the distance and she felt the last of her energy given out. He grabbed her hand as it fell and he started hitting her face to keep her awake. The last thing she heard was him yelling out her name.

-

Everything… was white. _That was extremely unexpected_. She didn’t know if she said or thought it. _They always say go towards the white light. I just ended up here. Guess I’m, like, dead dead._ She was not as panicked as she would normally expect herself to be. She felt at rest. She spun around to get a look at her surroundings. _This couldn’t be all of it..?_ She decided to start walking in a random direction.

There was no noise from her feet hitting the ground, and that part genuinely unnerved her. There was no noise whatsoever. She opened her mouth to vocalize something, it's not that nothing came out, it just didn’t seem right and it was too quiet. Even quieter than her thoughts. Looking down on herself she saw that she was in a white dress. A low V neck with short but cascading sleeves, a cinched waist and then a billowing sunlike dress that sashayed as she walked. Her hair was longer than it was before and was just past the middle of her back, just where she was trying to grow it back to. She felt beautiful.

Whilst admiring herself she noticed that she actually could hear something. It was faint. A slight crackling. Like thunder, but instead of it feeling like bass it was all treble. All of Jo’s hairs stood on end.

Instantly she starts running towards it. Listening as it slowly grew to a crescendo. She went to cover her ears but it did nothing. She looked around again to see if she could find the source, and did. A small, green, rip in the vastness of white found her. Startled at the final difference in the emptiness of this place she found herself in. Inquisitively, she reached out her hand to touch it and felt a searing pain grow on her left hand. And the green became everything. When she opened her eyes back up she could see that there now was rock, and a sky though it is the wrong color. Spinning she took in everything. _This can’t be it. This can’t be the afterlife._ She held her hand to her chest and let out a small whimper. A groan started to sound from the stones around her.

“What the EVER LIVING-” she gasped as she turned around and saw dark black smoke pouring out of the rocks and swirling around her feet. She clutched her hand tighter as the smoke started to take a more solid form. A tall figure seeming to eb fear into every muscle of her body, making her take a few steps back. “ _Oh shit_.”

Its head seemed to snap in every direction before being completely focused down on her. Through the deepest voice she could imagine, it spoke with crackling determination.  “Y **ou corrupt a world that may not take you, just like the blight incurs on an unprepared soul**.” It took a heavy step forward and seemingly shook the ground she stood on. Two spots where the eyes should be started to grow red. “ **You choose to take steps in a plane no one has entered since the Great City fell**.” The eyes seemingly seared into her “ **You hold great power that many seek and it will not be taken lightly upon you or those around you. You will cause embers and ashes into a world that doesn’t know better**.” She bumped into a pillar of rock frozen in fear. “ **Do you accept this fate**?” When she realized it was actually asking her a question and not just being rhetorical, with the dark smoke licking her ankles she stammered for a minute before speaking.

“Why the hell would I accept that? I don’t want to hurt people. I’ll go back to death or whatever that was.” The figure straightened up slightly surprised but having found his answer.

“Then change your path. Don’t just accept it.” The heavy base that it had before disappeared and suddenly sounded very familiar. Before she could choke out the name, the man of smoke contorted. Where there once was an illusion of a man before her changed dramatically until all there was before her were spiders that had formed themselves from the smoke.  Quickly a scream found its way up and out of the top of her lungs, she moved around the wall she had found herself against, and ran as fast and hard as she could while trying to collect the bottom of her dress. While in her head she was busy throwing around profanities and trying to find a way out of this hellscape. _What the hell was that guy thinking? Was that actually just sentient smoke spiders? What am I even thinking what the hell is this place?_ She started to panic and could feel her chest start to constrict with the thick air and the running. Whispers started to swirl in their head. They sounded excited, and they grew louder.

She saw a glowing light, thinking it was her way back to her calm afterlife she started running somehow even faster towards it. As she reached closer she saw it was not, in fact, another tear, but the figure of a woman in pure light standing near another very LARGE green tear that was not unlike the one that had gotten her in this mess.

“Oh **come on**!” She wanted to yell at the top of her lungs but instead, a wheeze escaped her lips. The light figure beckoned her closer as Jo struggled to hold the dress at her waist while also trying to climb.

“Hurry! The tear is fading!” The being yelled down to her. Having scrambled up to the top and seeing the spiders just behind her she turned to the being. “How do I know this won't take me to something even worse!” She exasperated.

“How do you know it won't be better?” a warm feeling started to fill Jo’s chest and she started to experience an offset of the pain she was feeling. The whispers in her head were yelling at her to jump through. She knew she could trust this spirit. Just like when she left her last life, she began her new one with the same words.

“Thank you”

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave any comments about anything! Let me know what you think in different departments. Such as writing style, what you hope to see, different things like that. I wrote this really late at night so it may appear a little wonky.  
> Thank you to all who have read!


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